Filing Cabinet of the Damned

Thursday, January 06, 2005


My one comic-loving bud came by my house a few days ago and showed me a new doohickey: the game “Heroclix.” It’s a boardgame of sorts played with little plastic superheroes. They run around fighting and being all super-fied. Wee plastic Batmans and Spider-Mans and what-all romp around a “map” you set up, and guys roll dice to see how their teams of super-guys fight it out. Okay.

The characters are almost all based on Marvel and DC heroes and villains, ranging from the big names to some obscure characters. Also, to increase sales, they have variants of characters and “experience levels.” So you can have a rookie level, experienced level, and veteran level of the same character hopping around your board.

This got me thinking. There’s a Marvel character that would be perfect for this. Visually interesting enough to make for a cool figure, varied enough in his history to give three “levels,” and badass enough to whip heiney.

Howard the Duck.

Roll with me on this. Picture it.

Rookie level Howard: Wearing his trademark sport jacket, stogie in mouth.

Veteran level Howard: dressed as befits a Master of Quack Fu, with the accompanying fighting skillz.

Experienced level Howard: two words, baby: “Iron Duck.” Trash-can armor, springs on his feet...oh, hells yes.


Howard’s villains would add to the game as well. The villain created by fusing Doctor Doom and rock critic Lester Bangs, the terror known as Doctor Bong? The Space Turnip? The Canadian super-patriot and all-around loony in powered armor dubbed "The Beaver?"

Sales would be huge.

Rock on.


  • Wasn't the Beaver completely paralyzed except for his teeth which powered his armor? That would be a mighty Heroclix indeed.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 3:46 PM  

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