The novel is 50,468 words, though it has no title.
It does have ostriches, ninjas, pirates, madness, death, love, a cardboard cutout of Bettie Page shot through the forehead, a giant spider, twenty large canisters of pudding, a rapier duel, model train enthusiasts, regret, slavering monsters, exhumations, a floating village off the Philippine coast, sansabelt slacks, and a magical chicken sandwich. It's a busy little story.
It lacks coherence, depth of characterization, and monkeys.
It's a fusion of too many comic books, P.G. Wodehouse, bad movies, the zeitgeist of the McSweeney's era, and, um, classical Russian novels. It's a giant mess.
But goddammit, it's done.
Now I can alter my business cards.
"Harvey Jerkwater: Hero, Lover, Rock-and-Roller, and Novelist."
Kickass.
Now let us never speak of this piece of crap again.
Back to comics!
Congrats!
ReplyDeleteAnd I'm glad it has ninjas. It had to have either monkeys or ninjas; I would have gone with monkeys, but that's me.
Congrats. That's great ... and as I aim to participate next year, I'm glad to hear about winners ... or survivors.
ReplyDeleteCongratulations! I am also considering a run at the Brass Ring next year, and tales of victory do indeed raise the motivation.
ReplyDeleteWay to go, sir. I admire your resolve. I only got halfway through - about 26000 words. Oh well. Will we ever see this masterpiece online somewhere????
ReplyDeleteIn about a week I'm going to sit down and reread the thing.
ReplyDeleteIf it's as bad as I claim, I'll bury it at sea.
If it's salvageable, I'll spend some time revising it and then figure out what comes next.
My vanity still harbors the faint notion that perhaps I will someday get this naughty monkey published.
Congratulations! Did you include a scene of puking in the bathroom sink??? I'm hoping...
ReplyDelete