My Favorite Holiday, or “Yaar! Here Be Cornish Accents Gone Mad! Ahhhrr!”
Aar, it be a day when men speak as they should, women speak as men speaking as they should, and all the world tries its best ta sound like a one-legged jack tar on the lee side of Tortuga.
Aye, I be talkin’ about Talk Like a Pirate Day! Yaar, har har!
'Tis a fine excuse to talk like a moron for all the day's length! Yaar!
The original pirate-talker be one Robert Newton, an actor fella from the stony land of Cornwall. In the year of our Lord nineteen hundred and fifty, aar, this Newton fella played a part in a movin’ picture called “Treasure Island.” He dast to play the great Long John Silver. An’ he did ol’ Johnny proud. He made use of ‘is Cornish accent and a lot o’ actin’ skill, and he created a language all ‘is own.
When the sun rises o’er the briny deep the mornin’ a’ Talk Like a Pirate Day, raise a tankard a’ grog ta the sea dogs about ye, sing a bawdy shanty, and say “aaahr.” Call your friends bilge rats and to belay their yappin'. Shiver a timber or three. Yaar.
There be little better in life than talkin’ like a pirate.
'Ceptin' maybe General Tso’s Chicken.