Filing Cabinet of the Damned

Monday, August 21, 2006

Fifty-Two Answers, More or Less

Over at the Absorbascon, Scipio asked fifty-two questions about the series 52. Rather than clog up his already-overflowing comments section with my answers, I put 'em here.

Heed my wisdom, yo!

1. Do you like Steel's new look and powers?
--No. I liked that John Henry Irons built his powers, that he’s a hero because he wants to be, not someone cursed by fate. Also, the giant hammer he used to use ties in the John Henry motif, which I think is snazzy. Losing that would be like having a hero named Paul Bunyan Woodman with a super-axe and taking away said axe after ten years.

2. Is Supernova the real Booster Gold?
--That’s a good guess; I hadn’t considered that. Whoever he is, he has a terrible costumer. Egh. Supernova’s too noble to be the greedy Booster we all know and love, though. Would Supernova go in for a Justice League casino on the island of Kooeykooeykooey? I think not.

3. Will Isis survive 52?
--Nope. She’s doomed. Will she die in such a manner as to deeply affect Black Adam and forever change the whole Marvel Family situation? Duh, of course.

4. What exactly IS Egg Fu?
--The Giant Egg Mastermind of my dreams. HEE-HO!

5. Are they going to kill the Question?
--I hope not. I dug the O’Neil/Cowan Question series and love the look. Then again, would it matter? Every incarnation of the character is pretty dang different from the last. The Ditko Question is not the same as the O’Neil one, who is nothing like the Veitch one from the recent miniseries, and the guy in 52 doesn’t feel like any of those prior incarnations. So the version of The Question I liked is long gone anyway. Killing off “Vic Sage” wouldn’t matter much. I hope they don’t, though.

6. Are you as tired of Montoya's Sam Spade act as I am?
--Oh my lord yes. How can she be the “strong and silent” type if she won’t shut the hell up?

7. Now that Luthor's uncorked the metagene bottle, how will DC ever get the metagenie back in?
--Deadly side-effects, it’s only temporary, Luthor’s actually using stolen alien tech and will run out of it soon…there’s a jillion ways. I’d bet on “deadly side-effects.”

8. What is Egg Fu hoping to do with the kidnapped mad scientists?
--HEE-HO! That is not for us to know, Westerner!

9. Will we see Bruce and Diana at all in 52, as we have Clark?
--I’d be shocked if we didn’t. Bruce playing shuffleboard, Diana punching out rhinos, stuff like that. Both will have Moments of Rededication when they do something Terribly Noble in the face of Great Evil. Many capital letters will be involved.

10. Will Ralph stay bonkers?
--Nah. We have to have our “hero rediscovers what it means to be a hero” story. He’ll snap out of it when a big crisis forces him to act. See #9.

11. Do you love the idea of a permanently bonkers Ralph as much as I do?
--Not a weepy, delusional Ralph, no. A basically-coherent Ralph with a permanent bend in his mind would be good, though.

12. Who is the trenchcoated man in the background behind Ralph?
--The ghost of former Secretary of the Treasury Lloyd Bentsen.

13. What is the Dominators’ connection to the 52?
--Probably trying to harness them for their own fiendish purposes. (All Dominator purposes are fiendish.)

14. So does Adam Strange have one eye or two, and will be getting any of them back?
--He’ll get ‘em back. Never count out Adam Strange. He may have to improvise a new set from the body of a salmon, a box of pop rocks, and the unspooled tape from an 8-Track recording of Frampton Comes Alive, but he’ll do it.

15. When will Rex the Wonder Dog meet Krypto?
--Better still, when will Rex the Wonder Dog meet Topo the Wonder Octopus? That I would pay to see.

16. Hey -- where is Krypto while Clark is powerless?
--Krypto’s back? Man, I’m so out of the loop.

17. Am I the only person who wants to see them bring back Destructo [Krypto’s evil super-dog counterpart]?
--Hell no you’re not the only one! An evil super-dog with a pirate-flag cape? Booyah!

18. What relationship -- if any -- is there between John Henry Irons and the new Commander Steel in the Justice Society?
--I’d guess none. If I put on my Grant Morrison hat (the one with the pork chop coming out of one side and smells like Tuesdays), I’d have the new Commander Steel be Steel’s niece, Natasha. Her brain is transplanted into the cybernetic body of an insane white man to become a new superhero! A more pedestrian possibility is that the technology used to make the new CS is based upon Irons’s research.

19. Will Lois become pregnant?
--Yeah. She’ll lose it by week 45. Drama!

20. When is Rip Hunter and how soon before we see him in person?
--Rip will make at least one “oogy-boogy-boogy, the End is Nigh!” appearance in the next month. He won’t figure into the story as a full character until week 30, and will only speak in portentious phrases until week 45. The death of the Kent baby may be tied in with it.

21. Will Lex be one of the kidnapped mad scientists?
--Yep. Because that would be awesome. Imagine Luthor, Sivana, Morrow, and Magnus all trapped together and plotting their escape…dude, they should form a regular team and be an ongoing series. The Mad Scientist Brigade. I would so read that.

22. Having been fused into one body, do Firestorm and Cyborg keep in touch?
--It’d be too awkward and raise too many arguments. “You got the liver!” “Up yours! You got the spleen! You ever try to live without a spleen?”

23. Will Haven (the "Eureka" for bad people) become a fixture in the DCU?
--I have no idea what this is. Let’s say, um, sure, it becomes a fixture.

24. So, did the Batfamily just take a cruise while the Red Hood is running around killing people or what?
--Basically yeah. Modern Batman isn’t so much about protecting regular people as he is about punching out bad people. Taking a break from the villain-whomping is about “getting his head together,” not “abandoning people to the monsters.” Dillhole. What’d be funny is if in his absence he uses his influence as Bruce Wayne to help the city, something he neglects as Batman, and returns to find the city much safer than before.

25. Will we see Harvey Dent at all in 52, given how active he is supposed to be in Gotham?
--Probably, but only in passing. The whole Dent story played out in Batman's own books already, so there's little to be gained by covering it in 52 at any length.

26. Will we get to see Bullock expose the corruption in Commissioner Akins' department?
--Definitely. I look forward to it. Unless it involves more bad first-person narration, like Montoya’s.

27. Will Bullock and Film Freak get a New Earth rematch?
--I have no idea who “Film Freak” is, so I’ll say…um…no.

28. Will the feminist bloggers stop cataloging every rape and attempted rape if I start cataloging every time a female character kicks a male one in the nuts?
--No, I don’t see that happening.

29. Will we ever find out what the heck is happening in Sub Diego?
--Years from now, some writer will go back to Sub Diego. It'll be a while. The odds on it being raised back up to rejoin San Diego in that story are very strong. Or it’ll be totally destroyed. One of the two. I doubt any writer would keep it status quo.

30. Will we ever find out why somebody sunk Sub Diego to begin with?
--I thought we did. But I didn’t read Aquaman back then, so I dunno. In retrospect, that was a bad call on my part.

31. Shouldn't Black Manta be one of the missing mad scientists?
--Maybe he’s just not mad enough. Work on the crazy, Manta!

32. Any guess about the status of Lorena, Mera, Tempest, Dolphin, et al.?
--In Comic Book Limbo for the foreseeable future.

33. Does anyone care about the status of Lorena, Mera, Tempest, Dolphin, et al.?
--Negatory.

34. Is Wonder Girl brainwashed or just tragically stupid?
--Her history suggests “tragically stupid.” Make that “her history screams ‘tragically stupid.’”

35. What is Devem's connection to Krypton?
--None. He’s a Durlan screwing with us.

36. Am I the only person who'd really prefer that Starfire never return to Earth?
--Nope. I never liked her. “Alien sex kitten/vicious warrior/naif” is a little too Chris Claremont for me.

37. Is the character of Natasha Irons now irredeemable?
--Nope. Unless she goes on a kill-spree, she can come back. If she finds Luthor’s Secret Evil Plan and, in her horror, opposes it, she’ll be back.

38. Will there be a Batwoman costume available this Halloween and, if so, who (other than me) will wear it?
--Yes, and it will be worn by those with advanced fashion sense. I will not, as my man-mammaries are insufficient to fill the suit. Alas, my he-hooters are small. I lack adequate boy-boobs.

39. What will Skeets do with his spare time now that Booster's dead?
--Two words: “Hollywood Squares.” I’ll take Skeets to block.

40. Does anyone know or care what Holly's last name is in Catwoman?
Know? No. Care? No. Willing to make one up? Sure. How about Hohenzollern?

41. What does the return of the Metal Men portend?
--Awesomeness. It portends awesomeness.

42. Is Captain Marvel really going to stay stuck in the Rock of Eternity?
--The Wizard Shazam will return, or a suitable replacement will be found, before 52 ends.

43. Given that Todd & Damon were dating before 52 and still are after it, doesn't that make them comics' longest standing gay couple (aside from Apollo & Midnighter)?
--If we skip over Batman and Robin, then yes.

44. Will we ever get to see Damon meet Alan Scott?
--I’d wager yes. Brief awkwardness followed by laughs and hugs. Alan’s a mensch.

45. Is anyone still reading Outsiders and, if so, why?
--I can’t answer either question. Perhaps they’re just really big fans of S.E. Hinton.

46. Will Batwoman come into conflict with Harvey Dent?
--The only questions are how much, and will she punch him out.

47. Am I the only person brushing up his Chinese for the first meeting of Egg Fu and the all-new Atom?
--Probably. I just got the first two issues of the All-New Atom, and yea verily, it rocketh. If it adds Egg Fu, it will rock so hard as to spontaneously transmute matter.

48. Speaking of the Atom, is that Luthor who's handing out "shrinking belts"?
--I hope not. I’d rather see someone different. Either a new guy or an old mad scientist with a new gimmick. Dr. Doog, perhaps?

49. With Whisper Adaire and the Monster Society running around and mad scientists being kidnapped, why doesn't anybody remember Professor Milo?
--Give them time. That Radium dude just came back. Milo can’t be too far off.

50. Am I the only person really excited about the idea of the evil Titans East, including the return of the Joker's Daughter?
--Probably not, though I could never give a crap about any Titans.

51. Will we meet Miss Martian in the J'onn J'onzz miniseries?
--I’ll bet she’s toast before the end of 52.

52. Who do you want to see turn up in 52 who hasn't yet?
--J’onn would be nice. I like that goofy bastard. The Connor Hawke Green Arrow. ‘Mazing Man. Grodd.

2 Comments:

  • You forgot #53: Does anyone care at all about 52? I guess the answer for most would be 'yes,' but for me it's a big N-O.

    Although "Hohenzollern" is as good a name as any. Perhaps Pfeifer will write a story where she attempts to reclaim the throne of Germany!

    By Blogger Greg, at 5:10 PM  

  • "The Mad Scientist Brigade. I would so read that."

    Dammit, I would too. The Magnus/Morrow scenes have been my favorite of the series so far.

    By Blogger nicholas danger, at 2:06 AM  

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