Filing Cabinet of the Damned

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

They Can't Get the Fries in the Door

Denny's Beer Barrel Pub of Clearfield, Pennsylvania has taken the Four Color ethos of the comic book and applied it where it can do the most good: in the kitchen.

They made their name with "The Ye Olde 96er."* It contains six pounds of meat. Two whole tomatoes. A half-head of lettuce. Twelve slices of American cheese. A full cup of peppers. Two entire onions. And enough mayonnaise, ketchup, and mustard to kill nine men.

But that was not enough. Oh no.

Not long ago,they have produced a burger even greater.

Behold the Mighty Burger of Doom's beefy heart, all eleven pounds of it:

Here it is, fully bedecked. An awesome sight, no?

To give a sense of perspective, here's the mammoth Burger of Doom between two dudes.

Epic. Simply epic.

If one could translate the Big Superhero Comic into food, it would be this bastard.


Had I discovered this burger ten years ago, I would have organized my cronies for a road trip to Clearfield in a mad effort to assault the Burger of Doom. Sadly, age and responsibilities have rendered my crew, and especially me, lameasses. All I can do now is admire its beauty at a distance.

Denny's Beer Barrel Pub, you will forever live among the legends of Americana.

I feel patriotic just looking at that thing. It is America, in all its magnificent, overblown, tacky, beautiful glory.

God bless America, land that I looooove...

*Yes, it's called "The Ye Olde 96'er." Yes, that's funny.


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